I told ya. Granted, nothing is written in stone yet, that is until my nurse calls me this afternoon.
Still no period. I got to the appointment this morning and asked if I should be worried, they said I should start it today probably. Next was my ultrasound. I have 4 follicles on my left, 9 on my right, all little, they said that this is what they like to see, they want to see these little ones. Whew! I was worried. HOWEVER, I also have one cyst on my right side, it's cloudy, which according to my nurse means that it's resolving. I also have one on my left side that is bright, clear, and is larger than it was on my last ultrasound, and this means trouble. They did say that my lining is very thick, that I should start my period soon. Yet another reason I probably won't start stims today.
The concern of course is whether it is putting out estrogen. My nurse said it could go away when I start bleeding. She said that I could be kept on lupron longer (although even she admits this would be pretty miserable). She also said that sometimes Dr. M will aspirate the cyst while I'm still on lupron and then start me on stims. I sort of like the sound of that last option. Here's the problem...I imagine that aspirating it would be done by ultrasound guided needle aspiration, much like my retrieval, however, being as it's a relatively minor procedure, I imagine this would not really be done with anesthesia-YIKES!!!!!
When I left that appointment I went to my acupuncture appointment I had scheduled in hopes I'd be starting stims. She treated me for the infertility stuff and for my back pain. Now I can't sleep. I am just waiting for my nurse to call me and that won't be until 2-ish. I've prayed I feel like nonstop since before my appointment that the feeling I had was wrong, and I've prayed since my appointment that maybe everything will look ok, and they'll decide to let me start stims. Help!!!
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When we go through things like this, it is very hard to understand why God makes us wait, when it seems that everything is in order...but, what we have to remember is that He has an ultimate plan that is better than anything we are trying to plan for ourselves. In the end, you may look back and see why this delay was actually needed in some way to achieve the end result...whatever that may be, trust that God knows what is best for you. I truly hope that since He has given you such a desire to have another child, that He will also bring that desire into a reality by bringing another child into your family. Hopefully it will be through this IVF cycle, but if not, you may be surprised to find how He does in another way. I'm still praying, and just remember that even if your prayers (or mine) aren't answered the way we are expecting, it doesn't mean God isn't answering...He just has a different plan in mind. My prayer for you today will be that God will grant you the patience and understanding needed to "wait" on His plans, and that ultimately your desires and His plans will coincide perfectly...and that you will get some sleep :) Love you!
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