Monday, February 28, 2011

Transfer Update #2

I have 5 at the morula stage (right before the become blastocysts), 5 that are 9 celled, and 2 that are 8 celled. Transfer is scheduled for 9:45 tomorrow morning, so I have to be there by 8:30am. They will call me by 8 if they are pushing me back to Wednesday, and Wednesday is the furthest they can go, so I will have to be transferred by Wednesday at the latest.

I'm praying for transfer tomorrow. I don't have to work tomorrow night, and I can rest until Wednesday night. If they transfer me Wednesday night then it's another 12 hours I lose that I could be putting toward maternity leave.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Transfer Update

We still have 12 embryos, five 8 cell, four 7 cell, one 6 cell, and two 5 cell all good quality. We're being pushed back to Tuesday for transfer which scares the heck out of me because we've never had anything make it that far before. Hopefully by Tuesday we'll still have at least two good ones to put back, maybe more to freeze, but to be honest, I'll just be happy to have anything to put back.

My mom asked why they would want to day 5, and I explained that they have higher rates of success with blastocyst transfer (and blastocyst should be where they are by Tuesday), and they can pick the better quality ones and possibly put back fewer. So what is a blastocyst? Here is what a site called Advanced Fertility says:

Definition of a blastocyst
•An embryo that has developed for five to seven days after fertilization and has 2 distinct cell types and a central cavity filled with fluid (blastocoel cavity).
•The cells in a blastocyst have just started to differentiate.
•The surface cells that surround the cavity (just under the outer shell) are called the trophectoderm and will later develop into the placenta.
•A more centrally located group of cells - the inner cell mass, will become the fetus.
It is thought that at the point of blastocyst stage (day 5-7) the embryos can be looked at to determine which would most be most competent and thus have the best chances of becoming a viable pregnancy.

I'm trying to take deep breaths and trust in these people that do it every day to make that judgement call on my embryos. I prayed last night and again this morning before the phone call that God would provide for us and that if a day 3 transfer was meant to be it would, and the same for a day 5, so I have to trust in Him as well to watch over our embies, and give me peace, and I guess if our embies fizzle out by Tuesday then that was how this was meant to be and we will be done trying (at least until maybe another opportunity presents itself).

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 2 Post Retrieval

My nurse called me at 7:50 this AM to let me know that we still have 12 embryos. All are between 2 and 5 cells which is normal for this point in development. My transfer is scheduled for 9:30AM tomorrow, and I have to be there with a partially full bladder and more to drink by 8:30. If they decide to cancel my transfer for tomorrow and postpone it to Tuesday, I should know by 7:30. To be honest, I'm really hoping for a transfer tomorrow. I think I'd just feel better knowing that they are where they belong to grow best.

I'm taking Estrace twice a day, and endometrin suppositories 3x/day. They aren't as bad as I thought they'd be.

I'm tired, not sure if that is because of the night I had, or if it's the progesterone starting to kick in, or a combo of both. Our greyhound had his first seizure (that we're aware of) at 3:30 this morning. It scared me half to death, he flew out of our bed, stumbled around before smacking into our closet door with his head, then laid down and was staring into space. It only lasted all of a few minutes, but I felt helpless to just sit there, pet him, and talk calmly to him. I called our greyhound guru in our group and she said that the e-vet wouldn't do anything for him anyway besides run bloodwork at this point, and unless they're having more than one seizure a month, they don't usually treat it. She said it's ok to wait until Monday to call the vet and get a regular appointment with them.

Then at 4:30, Jack called me into his room and said, "I wanted to tell you I love you and I miss you, but my nose is stuffed up and I keep blowing it." So I had him give it another good blow, have some water, and went to bend down and kiss him and he was burning up. I got the thermometer to check him out, and his temp was 104.5. And, of course, I threw out the tylenol a couple of months ago because it was expired and forgot to pick more up. Luckily, Archie was home so I went to Walgreens to pick some up. He complained that his arm and his legs hurt, and his tummy felt "crunchy" and when I asked what that meant he said, "It means it's going to explode." Great. His temp when I called the pediatrician at 2:45pm was 103.9, two hours after his last dose of tylenol. We're now rotating tylenol with motrin and his temp is down to 100.9. We'll take it. She said they are seeing alot of influenza (yes, he got the flu shot) this year and it sounds like what he has. If he still has a fever he'll be seen on Monday AM.

I had an acupuncture appointment at 8am today for my pre-transfer, and I'll see her either tomorrow (on her normal day off-she's awesome!) right after my transfer, or on Tuesday right after.

I don't pray for a baby with Jack after our last cycle (I ask Him to protect us, and continue to provide for us in ways that only He can), but last night as we said our prayers together, he said he wanted to ask God for something and I told him he could. He asked God for a baby, either a brother or a sister and told God he would take either one. I just thought that was sweet. He's obviously been with me to the doctor's alot throughout this because it's appointments every other day, usually right as we're leaving from my work. The other day as I dropped him off at school and told him to have a great day, his response was, "Have a great day at the doctor's!" I think he was just happy not to have to go that day, who could blame him?

I continue to have alot of support all the way around, and I can't tell you how much it means to me. Thank you for the continued prayers and support. If you wouldn't mind adding to your prayers that I don't get the flu from little man while we're in this TWW, that would be great.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Fertilization Report

First, let me tell you that I haven't had any more of the issues where I almost pass out. Yay! I am still very tender with pain wrapping from my abdomen around to my back, and what feels like trapped air in my diaphragm and shoulders. I thought the trapped air was odd as it's not like I had an ex-lap for retrieval, so I called the doc yesterday evening and he said it's abnormal, but not unheard of, just rest. So when I talked to my nurse this morning and was still having some of that pain (it's not as bad as it was last night when I almost ripped the countertop out of the wall in our bathroom-it felt like around AF with my endometriosis), she suggested I just rest and if I could not work tonight, that would be best. We've had too many people staffing at work right now and people were getting floated, so I made the decision to call out. I will lose 12 hours of time, but I'm not worried about it if it means that I'll feel better come transfer day.

Which leads me to my next bit of news. For a little bit of history, when we did IVF #1, we had 18 eggs, 11 were mature enough for ICSI, and 8 fertilized, none made it to day 5, so we had a 3 day transfer, and had Jack 9 months later. IVF #2, we had 9 eggs, 6 were mature enough for ICSI, and 3 fertilized-all abnormal with multiple nuclei and we did not transfer any back. IVF #3 gave us 20 eggs as you guys read yesterday, 15 were mature enough for ICSI, and 12 fertilized!!!!!!!!! This is the best we've ever had!

My transfer is tentatively scheduled for Sunday morning. They won't know for sure until this afternoon how many retrievals they will have for Sunday AM, and the transfers are always after the retrievals, so not sure what time yet, I'll know more tomorrow. The thing is that the lab at this clinic comes in and looks at the embryos on Sunday morning and emails reports to the nurse between 7-7:30AM, and that is when we'll be called to be told if our retrieval will be postponed until Tuesday. We've never had anything make it to day 5 for freezing, so I can't imagine they'll push us until Tuesday, but if they recommend it, we will just have to trust them. If there aren't any retrievals for Sunday morning, we could be scheduled for a 9am transfer, which means we'd have to be there by 8am, and my nurse admits we could be driving there when she calls to tell us we're being postponed. We just have to be flexible and roll with the punches. Easier said than done with someone who likes to have everything planned out, but we'll do it.

How am I feeling at this point in our cycle? Positive. I feel like this could work, I've got many supportive friends who feel like this could work and are very excited for us. I have to admit that I'm excited, but I also admit that being excited when nothing is for sure scares me. I guess that is what hope is.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Egg Retrieval

So it was a rather busy morning, but it was worth it! We have 20 eggs!!!!! I'll get a fertilization report tomorrow and update at that time how many eggs were mature enough for ICSI and how many fertilized.

Pre-op my blood pressure was 124/83. Post-op, my crit had dropped from 37 to 30, and they rechecked it a bit later and it had come up (I didn't get the number, was just glad to be allowed to eat and drink something and get the tylenol into me). I have to say I don't think the tylenol has done much. I'm very tender, very crampy, and let me tell you that the gas I've had reminds me very much of when I'm around AF and have the shooting pains that I have thanks to endometriosis. I've been not feeling great. They went to discharge me, were wheeling me to my van when we got off the elevator and all of a sudden I was severely nauseated, sweating profusely, had lost all color (my hubby commented that my lips were really white), and felt like I couldn't breathe. They took me back downstairs and I was feeling slightly better, they hit me with some smelling salts (disgusting) and took my BP which was 95/78. The recheck about 15 minutes later was 99/80 so getting better and they let me go home.

Before we could go home we needed to pick Jack up, and my girlfriend had him and her daughter playing at Chick-Fil-A. We went in and I was sitting for about 5 minutes and all of a sudden it happened again. She said my lips were white, my color was gone, and wouldn't let me move. Archie went and got the van and we headed home. I talked to my doc, and he said once might be normal and while he can't say that twice would be abnormal it's not normal either. The concern would be bleeding internally. He said some bleeding around the ovaries after this surgery is normal, but not alot. In the fifteen months since our clinic merged with theirs, he's only seen one person with significant bleeding and that person had 42 eggs retrieved. I told him that while I was very tender and crampy, that I had checked my abdomen and it was not rigid or hard, so that was reassuring. He said if I continue to have issues then I need to go to the ER for a check on my red blood cell count and go from there. Needless to say we got home from the restaurant and I've been riding the couch. Still sore, but no more of that other mess.

Thanks for all of the well wishes and prayers. ICLW people-I'm out of commission for today, but I'll comment extra tomorrow, promise!!! As usual, I'll have an update tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Day 12 IVF and Gratitude

I triggered last night with my HCG shot, and my ER will be at 9am tomorrow. I have to be there at 8am, and Archie has to drop off his sample at 7:30am, which means my girlfriend, B, gets the pleasure of having Jack at 7am (God love that woman because there aren't many friends I think I could ask for a favor like that!).

I have to say that through all of this, my mom, Archie, and some awesome friends and blogger friends have been so supportive. K was willing to go to Parent's Day with Jack as a fill in for us if need be, and this meant so much to me that Jack wouldn't be alone, and yet K would be leaving her boxer puppy with bad seperation anxiety at home alone to help us out. B is willing to get up at the crack of dawn to take Jack tomorrow morning and to tote him around on a playdate. Br was willing to take Jack on top of her twin boys, one of which has special needs, and she is always saying she'll take him anytime-God love her. L has just been nothing but supportive, and though she felt bad that she wasn't more available (she has infant twins), she's been praying constantly for us and is always just a phone call or text away. Jen who gave me advice on what helped her during her last cycle, and has been praying for us as well has been awesome. And my mom, while she doesn't understand what half of what I'm saying with regards to our IVF means, has let me vent, cry, talk through issues, and that's been great for me. My faithful blogger followers have been nothing but supportive, and the girls from my previous IVF/IF groups that I've stayed in touch with have been my cheerleader squad. You guys rock, and regardless of how this cycle turns out, I want you to know I feel so blessed to have you all in my life.

So here is the plan. We should be home around lunchtime (I think), and if I'm not too groggy or tired, I'll post to let you guys know how many eggs we had. I won't have a fertilization report until Friday. Embryo Transfer (ET) could take place on Sunday (day 3), or Tuesday (day 5). I'm thinking we will transfer on Sunday simply because we've never had great quality embryos. Jack was the result of a day 3 transfer with 2 so-so embryos, and last time, all of our embryos were abnormal. My hope is that we have enough to choose from this time like with our first cycle that we don't have to worry about the abnormal ones. I'm a bit nervous about the possibility of a day 5 transfer, just because our first cycle all of our leftover embryos that we were growing out to day 5 and hoping to freeze fizzled out. I'm just afraid tha the embryology lab would say that they think they can make it to day 5 and then we end up with nothing. I realize that these people make these decisions all the time, this is what they do, and I need to trust them. It's just like when people trust me to take care of their sick babies, trust me to give them accurate and correct info and not to steer them wrong. And let's be honest, God has made this cycle so much easier than the first two. The first cycle we felt like we had so much riding on it, it was our best and only chance at starting a family, it was threatened to be cancelled numerous times thanks to my hyperstimulation, and it was just so darn stressful. The second one I didn't trust to work the entire time, and when I finally let my guard down things hit the fan.

This time, and maybe the acupuncture has something to do with my stress level, but I feel like I've been more calm, and I think alot of that has to do with praying. I wasn't as faithful the last two times, and I've still got a long way to go, but I really do feel like I've been more at peace this cycle. That's not to say there haven't been stressful occurences (hello Parent Day conflict), but He has provided for us to be able to work things out beautifully, and I am so grateful.

B asked me today how I felt. I could tell her 100% honestly that I felt good. I felt excited and confident with how things are going. For someone who second guesses everything, this is huge for me. I just have a good feeling, and I hope it doesn't stop for a good, oh...10 months!

Thanks to all my peeps out there for your support. Love you guys!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy ICLW & Day 10 IVF *edited*

My current followers will have to bear with me for a few minutes.

Happy ICLW!!! If this is your first time stumbling upon my little place in web space, welcome! I'm a 30 year old NICU nurse, and mom to a 4-year-old piece of work! DH is 34. We suffer from MFI, endometriosis, and hydrosalpinx (removed in Nov), and we're going through IVF #3 now. Our little boy was the most awesome result of our first cycle. Briefly after IVF #2 we explored adoption until our insurance changed and we were given the gift of another IVF cycle covered by them.

For a little overview of our blog and where to look if you want to know about something specifically with us, we started the blog with the adoption adventure back in May 2009. Insurance changed July 2010, hydrosalpinx issues and info start around October 2010, and IVF consults start about the same time. I hope some of you will stick around and follow us on our journey to complete our family. :)

Now, for the first part of today's IVF update. We're on day 10 of stims. My ultrasound this morning showed quite a few follicles-I couldn't count after 3 shifts in a row, and Dr. M was just happy we had a bunch. We are "triggerable" today based on my ultrasound. Most of my follicles were like 16mm-20mm with some smaller ones lagging behind. That said, I explained my situation with Parent's Day on Wednesday and they were willing to schedule me for a late retrieval, however, if I was the only retrieval that day, I'd have to be there at 8am for a 9am retrieval. To be honest, this clinic is HUGE in our area, and I had never considered the fact that I could be the only retrieval for that location on any given day. So, this still has the potential to get fouled up. That said, Dr. M said he could also possibly plan for a trigger tomorrow night with retrieval on Thursday which would work out perfectly (I think...who will give me my trigger shot if I have to take it tomorrow night when I'm at my agency shift at a hospital where I'm not staff brings up any number of questions like who will give it to me, what part of my body am I willing to expose to an almost complete stranger, who should I trust enough to stab me with a needle?!?!?)...Dr. M said that the only way he would have no choice on whether to trigger me tonight would be if my estradiol was skyrocketing, and then it would be out of his hands and we'd have to trigger tonight.

So, while I say Thursday would be perfect, it would only be perfect in that it would not require me to do much but call out of work for Thursday night. The trigger part would be a minor fiasco, however, if we do retrieval at 9am on Wednesday, that part would be a major fiasco while the trigger shot would be cake. Such is life right?!?! I'm anxiously awaiting the phone call from my nurse. I'll post later!

*edited to add* I spoke to my nurse, and my estradiol was 2800, so we can put off my ER for Thursday. I've got someone to watch Jack all lined up, and I switched the nights I'm supposed to work at my regular job so that I'm not using up time I could save for a potential maternity leave. It means losing a couple hundred dollars working at another hospital (I was supposed to work a different hospital on Tuesday night, but since I switched days at my regular job, I'll have to cancel that shift), but it's worth it in the long run. Yay for ER Thursday!!!!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 9 IVF

They measured 8 follicles at my ultrasound today, 5 on my right, 3 on my left. They were between 12-15mm. They said they would probably see me in two days, so Monday, which means no retrieval on Tuesday. I got a call from my nurse, my estradiol was 1024 this morning. Nice jump I thought! They are dropping my follistim dose to 100. This has me slightly concerned since my follicles were only 11-13mm two days ago, they haven't grown that much, and now they're dropping my dose.

I have a dilemna. I'm not sure if I ever posted my worst Mommy moment on here, so here it is. At the beginning of the school year, our church had a "Blessing of the Backpacks." I was definitely taking Jack, but they never made mention of bringing your backpack, so I wasn't sure if it was like a metaphorical thing where they were going to just do a generalized blessing of the school year and the students or what. I should have brought his backpack, but I didn't. I thought about putting it in the car "just in case" but I didn't. So they called all the kids up to the altar with their backpacks. Jack ran up there just as happy as can be until he realized all the other kids had their big kid backpacks, except him. He looked at us in the pew to ask where his was. I felt like the biggest loser ever when he dropped his head and started to cry up there. I still get tears in my eyes thinking about how disappointed he was.

So the dilemna comes in here. Tuesday would have been a great day for ER. If I go in Monday and they say take your trigger shot tonight, ER will be 36 hours after that shot-Wednesday. Wednesday is Parent Day at school. We will both be required to be at the ER. I talked to the nurse today when she called and asked what time the clinic starts their ER's. She said 9am. This MAY just work out for us. Parent's Day starts with chapel at 8:45, and then you go to your child's classroom with them until 10am at which point they have refreshments for the parents in the fellowship hall. We could book out of there at 10am if there was any way we could be one of the last ones getting their ER that day, say 11am?!?!?!

I'm really stressed out over this. These are two very important things. There is NO WAY I want to let our son down again and have him be the only kid at Parent's Day without a parent there. We could not take him to school that day, but he is still going to know it's going on because they've been talking it up to the kids, making invitations for the parents, etc. Then if I take him out of school I have to figure out where he's going to go that day because he can't go with us. I obviously can't miss my ER. So much for my acupuncture helping with my anxiety and stress right now. It's through the roof until I know what's going on Monday and will have the info I need to be able to make some decisions.

Please pray that our follicles grow, but just enough that perhaps my ER will be Thursday instead so that we can participate in our son's day at school. Please pray that if ER is on Wednesday that they can schedule us for later in the day so that we can avoid having to make a decision that may really upset our son. Please pray for some sense of peace for me during this next 48 hours of waiting.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Estrogen Update Day 8 IVF

My estrogen was a whopping 668. That's right, I'm being sarcastic. No idea what is making this slow down, but they're increasing my follistim to 150 tonight and I have an ultrasound and bloodwork tomorrow. This is the opposite problem I had when we did our first IVf cycle. The first one they eventually stopped my follistim before retrieval because they couldn't control me and I was overstimming. I'm happy for the balance of my levels not being off the chart, AND a good number of follicles.

I've been getting acupuncture for the last couple of weeks, weekly on Fridays, and I have to say that my anxiety has been better and I'm not feeling too bloated. I've been crocheting sock monkey hats and perfecting that before I start working on my crocheted owl hats, and that has also been helpful in relaxing me.

Otherwise, there hasn't been too much going on. My next appointment is tomorrow, and they tend to call later on the weekends, so I'll update sometime tomorrow evening.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 7 IVF

My estradiol was 624 today, so quite a jump from two days ago! They only measured one follicle on Tuesday, and that was 8.1mm; today they measured 9 follicles, they were between 11-13mm. So they're growing! They need to be at least 18mm for retrieval. They are thinking I may be able to do my egg retrieval on Tuesday!!! I go for an estrogen check in the morning tomorrow, and an ultrasound and bloodwork on Saturday.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 5 IVF

Sorry for the late update. I didn't get the call until I was already on my way to my agency shift at another hospital, and I could not access the site from there. My ultrasound went ok, I guess. I had 9 follicles on the right side, and 7 on the right, and this was great news. They are still small, Dr. M didn't seem concerned, he said it was ok. My estradiol was 264, my med doses remain the same. I have an appointment for tomorrow morning, I assume it will be both ultrasound and labwork. I will update when I get my call tomorrow afternoon!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 3 IVF Cycle

So I started stims on Friday evening. I can't say I'm feeling much of the effects of them, perhaps because I failed to decrease my lupron dose and didn't realize it until I'd already taken today's dose and was on my way to have my labwork drawn. It was definitely a "smack my head" kind of moment, and I got really panicky. I thought, "You dumb ass, how in the world could you screw up something so important?!?!?!" I told the medical assistant who drew my labwork so she could note it in my chart, and her comment to me was, "Well, at least we know you won't ovulate early right?" And I thought to myself, are you kidding me? I just ovulated on BCP's AND lupron, and last time we cycled, I had bad cramps the day before my retrieval and I was worried that I was ovulating before they could do the retrieval. We still don't know for sure if I did, BUT, that was the cycle where they went into do the retrieval and got back a few hundred cc's of blood from my pelvis. I am REALLY hoping that nothing will happen before they go in to get those eggs from me.

No worries at this time though, I WILL take only 5 units of lupron in the morning, and tonight, I am to increase my follistim to 100, and keep menopur at 75 until my next appointment Tuesday morning at 7:30am for ultrasound and bloodwork. My estradiol today was 106 (up about 40 points from 2 days ago).

Friday, February 11, 2011

Here I Come!!!

I had called and left my nurse a message, but knew I probably wouldn't hear from her before I had to leave work to take Jack to school. So Jack and I strolled over to the office to ask if they needed anything from me today, or if they wanted to see me another day, basically, to find out what the plan was now that my lovely period had decided to grace me with her presence. As it turns out, they wanted bloodwork and an ultrasound. I thought having a transvaginal ultrasound on day 3 was gross, day 1 is a heck of lot worse, just an FYI.

Of course, having Jack with me made things even more interesting. I couldn't very well leave a 4-year-old in the waiting room by himself, so he had to come into the exam room. I had Scooby Doo playing on my phone for him and thought he'd be more interested in that. And, he probably would have been had it not ended right after Dr. M put the probe in...he was rather interested in the pictures and looked over a couple of times in the general vacinity of where Dr. M was working and knowing my son, I was just waiting for an embarassing, "Mommy, is he sticking that stick thing up your butt or your vagina?" because the kid has to know EVERYTHING. Luckily, I didn't get that, I'll just probably have some completely unexpected and embarassing moment later on in front of a million other people.

Regardless, the ultrasound showed 4 follicles on each ovary (what happened to the other 5 that were on my right ovary is beyond me), the cyst that was on my left ovary last time is completely gone, however, I have a new one on my right ovary. At this point I'm thinking, "I can't catch a darn break!!!" I get my bloodwork done and accept the fact that I will probably be coming back on Monday for more bloodwork and ultrasound and that's ok, heck, what's 3 more days when I waited a full week for my period to show up?!?!?

This afternoon my nurse called and my E2 (estradiol) is 66, my progesterone is less than 1. My E2 should be less than 75, and my progesterone is just right, so I start stims tonight!!!! Imagine my surprise! Seriously, what my friend L said about God and His plan is so true and I just had to come to peace with accepting that I wasn't going to be in control of this cycle. He was. So, tonight I start follistim 75 units, and menopur 75 units. Tomorrow, my lupron dose will be cut in half to 5 units for the remainder of the cycle. I go back in on Sunday morning at 7:15AM for bloodwork only. This will be my first visit to this clinic at another location (my usual location is closed on the weekends). Yay for getting this show on the road!!! I guess we can look for egg retrieval (ER) to be in about 10-15 days!!!!

Please pray for more follicles to grow at a steady rate, for minimal OHSS, and minimal pain from injecting myself 3 times a day.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

AF has Arrived!!!

That's it. That's my big news, my period is finally here! Yes, it's post worthy since I've been dying waiting for it since last Friday. It only came in the last couple of hours, so tomorrow will count as Day 1 since they go by which day you had regular flow before 5pm. Yay!

Here is the slight problem. My nurse told me to call her when it started. So I am going to leave her a message and call the main desk in the morning (she carries a cell phone in case there are issues and she is away from her desk) because I don't know if they want to see me for bloodwork or not, and they only take appointments down here at my hospital until 7:30am when I'm getting ready to head home. Not to mention, I have a dermatology appointment at 9am back down at my hospital, right after I drop Jack off at school at 8:30, and I have an acupuncture appointment at 10:15 in Ellicott City. So I'm going to be all over the metro area tomorrow morning, and I'm not sure what their appointment times are at the other locations. Tomorrow could be messy, good thing I'm not having to come back in and work tomorrow night huh?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Where Is It???

If you guessed that I'm still wondering and waiting for my dreaded period to show up, you're right. This is ridiculous. NO I AM NOT PREGNANT, they checked that with my bloodwork on Friday. That would have been a most awesome surprise however.

Yes, for the record, I am whining...I am really working hard on not doing this much, but I am today, and will tomorrow and the next day if this period hasn't shown up. Sorry, but I've waited long enough to do this IVF cycle, and I'm ready to get a move on. I'm not known for being very patient and I don't like being in limbo either.

I've been praying alot these last few days. Praying that regardless of the outcome of this cycle that I can accept that this is His plan. Praying that He thinks we're deserving enough of another child. Praying that the rest of this cycle goes off without a hitch. Just alot of praying.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Phone Call #1

No doubt sure to be the first of many. Sonya called and she said that my estrogen was 277, and my progesterone was 7.4. I ovulated. If you're like me you're thinking "WHAT?????? I'm supposed to be suppressed?!?!?!" Sonya said that it could be one of two things. Either I was not suppressed enough, or that I flared on the lupron. Generally lupron is for suppression, but she said that lupron's job is to dump the LH and FSH and that for some people it will cause them to be stimulated instead of suppressed. Oops! So, the cyst is likely left over from ovulation, and when I start my period in the next two weeks to call and we will start stims then.

The whole ovulation thing actually makes sense to me. *TMI warning* About a week ago I thought to myself for a couple of days, "What in the world? I have this fertile looking mucus, but that can't be right because I'm on lupron and BCP's and that's for suppression. Not sure what that's all about." And I didn't give it another thought because I WAS ON BCP's AND LUPRON!!!! Haha. My body is so confused it doesn't know what it is supposed to be doing.

So anyway, my instructions are to call as soon as I start my period and we'll go from there. And here is my small sigh of relief!!!

Not a Good Appointment

I told ya. Granted, nothing is written in stone yet, that is until my nurse calls me this afternoon.

Still no period. I got to the appointment this morning and asked if I should be worried, they said I should start it today probably. Next was my ultrasound. I have 4 follicles on my left, 9 on my right, all little, they said that this is what they like to see, they want to see these little ones. Whew! I was worried. HOWEVER, I also have one cyst on my right side, it's cloudy, which according to my nurse means that it's resolving. I also have one on my left side that is bright, clear, and is larger than it was on my last ultrasound, and this means trouble. They did say that my lining is very thick, that I should start my period soon. Yet another reason I probably won't start stims today.

The concern of course is whether it is putting out estrogen. My nurse said it could go away when I start bleeding. She said that I could be kept on lupron longer (although even she admits this would be pretty miserable). She also said that sometimes Dr. M will aspirate the cyst while I'm still on lupron and then start me on stims. I sort of like the sound of that last option. Here's the problem...I imagine that aspirating it would be done by ultrasound guided needle aspiration, much like my retrieval, however, being as it's a relatively minor procedure, I imagine this would not really be done with anesthesia-YIKES!!!!!

When I left that appointment I went to my acupuncture appointment I had scheduled in hopes I'd be starting stims. She treated me for the infertility stuff and for my back pain. Now I can't sleep. I am just waiting for my nurse to call me and that won't be until 2-ish. I've prayed I feel like nonstop since before my appointment that the feeling I had was wrong, and I've prayed since my appointment that maybe everything will look ok, and they'll decide to let me start stims. Help!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I am thinking tomorrow is probably going to be a bust. I honestly don't think my ultrasound will show what they hope to see to start me on stims. I took my last BCP on Monday, and still, no period to show for it. I had spotting up until about Monday, then it all stopped, and while I just started with the tiniest amount, it's not the period that I expected to start after I stopped the pills. This leads me to believe that my lining will probably not be what they are expecting for my ultrasound tomorrow, but I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong. I'm ready to start.

My appointment is at 7:30am, right after I get off of work. I get hit with a catch 22 each time. If my appointment is right after work, I find myself trying to spruce myself up because I'm self conscious that I haven't had a shower right before my appointment, and if I'm coming in from home, then I have the struggles of trying to get another little person out the door with me at an hour that is much too early in the morning for either of us. Such is the infertile life I guess.

I will have results from my bloodwork and word from my nurse sometime in the afternoon about whether or not to start my stims. I'll post as soon as I know something!