Just Call Me Slacker

Just call me "Slacker".  I just looked at my last post and Charlie was almost 4 months old, I was going to post after his 4 month pediatrician appointment and here it is 2 months later!  Sorry!

When I last left you, Charlie wasn't measuring up well enough for the GI doc, I was eliminating egg (in addition to the previously eliminated dairy, soy and crab), and we were thickening his bottle feeds when I was at work.  The following week we had his 4 month pediatrician appointment and go figure, I was right with his weight as luck would have it.  The GI doc's scale needed to be recalibrated.  The boy weighed 17 pounds and was 26.5 inches long which is 88th percentile for weight and 92nd for height.  The child doesn't have any problems with weight gain people!  We've stopped thickening his bottle feeds, and started feeding him baby food.  Eliminating egg has helped, though he still spits up from time to time, sometimes small amounts, sometimes larger, but oh well.  His first food (besides rice cereal) was avocado which he liked fine.  He's also had yellow squash, zucchini, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, and banana.  His favorite of these is banana!  He started the rice cereal on June 3, so about 4.5 months old.  The GI doc would like us to wait at least a week to 10 days between introducing new foods.  We're waiting about a week.  His next new food will be peas this weekend sometime. 

I'm enjoying making his baby food.  I can't believe how many things they put milk in.  I had started off making Jack's baby food as well, but after the first two things, I gave up.  This is better for Charlie because I know that there aren't any big allergens in them, just what I put into it.  I bought the Baby Bullet steaming system and blender and it couldn't be easier. 

Charlie still has his cranky times EVERY DAY.  It doesn't seem to be as bad when I'm around, maybe because I just hook him up and feed him and that works for us, but for Archie and my mom he can really be a handful.  Archie and my mom have both made comments that they think it's me, that he gets upset and wants to be comforted, but I'm not there (not that they don't try to comfort him, but for whatever reason it's a me issue). 

At 5 months old, I had both boys in the pediatricians office for different looking rashes, but was concerned.  I'd had Charlie on avocado for 3 days and he started breaking out on his face in an eczema-like rash which was concerning as this had been Jack's MO with his food allergies.  Turns out avocado is a low-risk food for allergies, so that was good news, he was just reacting to something else or having a flare up.  Jack had pityriasis rosea AGAIN (he had this last summer too).  It's a wierd looking rash that looked kind of like white heads all over his trunk and back-caused by a low load viral infection and clears up on it's own in about 3 weeks and sun seems to help it.  It's pretty much gone now but man are my boys some rashy kids.  Rashes really bother me.  Growing up I had a thing about bumps, they just grossed me out, so you can imagine what it's like when my kids are bumpy and I have to figure out what it is, and how to get rid of it.  Anyway, at that appointment we saw one of the pediatricians we haven't seen in a couple of years (we have one we like to stick with, but for urgent appointments, we'll see any of the 3 that are in the practice).  She was watching Charlie roll back and forth, standing up with assistance, and she asked how old he was, and Jack told her 5 months.  She said if we hadn't told her, based on what she was watching him do and his size, she'd have guessed 7-8 months.  He's a tank!  Charlie weighed 19 pounds at that appointment!  19 pounds, at 5 months old!!!  Seriously?!?!?  I looked back at Jack's baby book and he weighed 19 pounds at 9 months old!!!  He's a beast of a boy! 

Size is just one of the differences between my boys.  Charlie will likely have the height from my side of the family, but be built more like his dad.  Jack will have more of the height from his dad's side, and be built more like our side.  As an infant, Jack was happy to play in his jumper or just be cuddled for an episode of the Backyardigans.  NOT Charlie!  Charlie is entertained by his jumper for all of about 10 minutes maybe?  He doesn't jump, he just has stiff legs and stands which is fine and he does this ALL THE TIME, but I think he'd find it more fun if he'd jump.  I don't know how to make him realize that.  He wants to be held sometimes, but mostly he just wants to stand, or roll from one end of the room to the other.  He's gotten up onto his knees a couple of times, but Lord, I think when he figures out how to crawl that we're in big trouble!  He is going to be an active little boy where Jack really wasn't until about 2 years ago and even then, he still will sit and do things quietly for a while.  Charlie likes to talk or scream VERY loudly, where Jack was more quiet.  He's much more fussy than Jack was.  And has an annoying cry which Jack didn't.  Just as sweet as Jack was, but definitely more of a challenge especially when I have things I need to get done.

I'll have to get it on video to show you guys, but the other comical thing about Charlie would be what calms him down when he's throwing a fit.  By accident really, we found out he likes the song Assassin's Tango from the Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie.  Archie was asking me if one day we could take Tango classes and I told him sure, that sounded fun.  Jack asked him to play some tango music and Charlie was fussing and Archie put that song on and complete silence from Charlie is what we got.  Other tango songs don't have that effect.  The other two things that will make him stop crying we discovered thanks to Jack.  He sings "Little Bunny Foo Foo" or "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister (we watch the Betty White show and that's the song for it) and Charlie stops screaming and just looks at him.  I've found that the Little Bunny song also works for me if I sing it.  Not sure what it is about those songs, but I'm not going to argue with what works either!

Today is Jack's last day of camp for the summer.  He seems to have had fun, and his swimming has improved a ton since last year.  We're looking forward to taking some day trips this summer, going to the pool, and at the end of August, going to the beach! 

I WILL update after Charlie's 6 month appointment next week, and hopefully if I do it from home, I'll be able to post a couple of pictures and maybe a video!

Baby Charlie Has Arrived!!!

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've been busy with the newest member of our family!

Charlie decided he was going to make us force him to come out as he was definitely too cozy. So, January 19th was our scheduled induction date. Believe it or not, I actually did sleep the night before, probably because I skipped my nap on the 18th in the hopes I'd be able to sleep some that night. I got up at 4:45am, and we were due at the hospital by 6:30. We left our house at 5:45am, and arrived at L&D at 6:15. We were ready to go! To be honest, I didn't expect them to really do much besides a set of vitals and put in an IV before shift change at 7am, but they were working on us right through shift change, it was awesome! They started my IV, did a set of vitals, put me on my side (thanks to the high blood pressure in any position but on my side), rechecked my stats, and hooked me up to the monitor.

Charlie's heartrate was fine, but was only riding in the low 100's-110's. This had me slightly curious given the fact that his norm was 140's. I thought maybe he was sleeping until it continued. They were ok with it, and kept telling each nurse and doc that came in that it was his baseline. I don't know about that, but I do know that any heart rate greater than 100 is normal, so I wasn't too concerned. One of the nurse practitioners checked me and I was 3cm and still about 50% effaced. On the monitor they saw that I was having contractions 2-3 minutes apart, so they said they couldn't start me on pitocin yet. It's funny, I thought they were braxton hicks, I mean, they're not any different than what I'd been feeling the last few weeks of my pregnancy, and they didn't hurt. They were talking about maybe breaking my water, but they didn't want to do it until they spoke with my doctor because with the polyhydramnios, sometimes the docs wanted to be there in case there was a problem. At 7:15am, they broke my water. I was a little concerned because it was really bloody, but evidently if they rupture your membranes for you, that's normal. It did eventually turn clear. By this point my contractions had spaced out so they started me on Pitocin.

Evidently, I respond really well to pitocin. They started it, and then they had to back it down because the contractions were coming closer than they'd like. Then they'd slow down and they'd have to kick the pitocin back up, and we went back and forth like this all day. In the meantime, Charlie was deciding to drop his heartrate at times, lower than my heart rate, during contractions. This bothered me as it seemed like FOREVER before he'd come back up, and the nurse would stand there at times, holding her breath. No one really liked that he was doing this, and the thought was that his cord was wrapped around something and during contractions it was being compressed. They continued to watch me closely. He'd drop his heartrate and they'd come in and have me change positions. This happened frequently and I spent most of my time on my left side. By 11:30am I was 6cm and 90% effaced, had my epidural in, and by 1:30pm when they next checked me I was 7cm. I was worried we were slowing down since I'd had that big jump between 7:30 and 11:30 and then two hours later had only changed by 1cm, but at least I was progressing. The poor lady in the room next to me had also been an induction and they were preparing to send her home because it wasn't progressing. I felt awful for her, at least I knew I was having that baby soon.

They checked me next around 3:10pm and I was 9cm during a contraction, so a little less when I wasn't contracting. Charlie continued to elude the monitor and have drops in his heart rate so they put in a scalp electrode to monitor his heart rate. At 4pm, I asked when they were going to check me again. I was told I'd be checked when my doc finished her office hours and came over. I was comfortable with the epidural, so this was fine. My doc came over around 5 and checked me and told me it was time to have this baby! Yes!!! We kicked my father-in-law and Jack out. My mom got the job of holding my one leg, and Archie the other. My mother-in-law was up by my head behind my husband, but after a couple of pushes, and me feeling like I was going to pass out and throw up all at once, she got the job of fanning me with magazines and a barf bucket. I'm sure she was just praying I wouldn't throw up on her.

I pushed for about 10 minutes and my doctor told me that two more pushes, he'd be out. I gave it all I had for one more push, and Charlie dropped his heart rate to the 60's and wasn't coming back up. At that point, my doctor made the decision to use the vacuum to get him out. This is something I wasn't entirely comfortable with until the night before my induction. I had told my nurse that if it came down to him needing to be assisted out, I would prefer the vacuum over forceps delivery. I gave him one more push while the doc applied the vacuum, and at 5:16pm, Charlie was born! He weighed 8 pounds 0.4 ounces. He is not chubby at all, as a matter of fact, he's rather scrawny looking-probably because he's also a long boy, measuring in at 21.75 inches!!! He has a full head of hair, and looks JUST LIKE JACK did as a baby. Which basically means he looks like Archie, LOL. I was told for the first year of Jack's life that I obviously had nothing to do with his conception since he looked nothing like me!

I am so in love with this little guy. My little family feels complete. Jack absolutely loves him. He always wants to kiss him, hug him, and touch him. I've included a few pictures for you guys.

More Baby Talk

We let Jack sleep with us last night, and as we're laying in bed, done our prayers, he asks again to make sure it wasn't a baby that the doctor took out of my tummy. I told him it wasn't. He wanted to know if there would be a baby because he wants a baby. Then he wanted to know if we could have a girl or a boy. I said that either was possible, or no baby was a possibility too, but that we hoped there would eventually be another one. This is awesome. He wants to know if we want a boy or a girl. I told him we want a healthy baby, it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. I asked what he wanted, first he said, "A girl like you." Then he said he wanted a boy too. Then he wanted to know what their names would be. I start asking, "Well, what do you think about____?" What it came down to is that Jack loves the name that I love for a girl, but he didn't like either of the two names we had for a boy. I was trying to come up with other boy names to see what he would think, and I mentioned "Sam". His response, "Like Peter Sam from Thomas?" I couldn't help but laugh, it comes down to what he can relate to-Thomas the Tank Engine. I told him no, not Peter Sam, just Sam, which he also didn't care for. I came up with another one and he did like that one. Who knows if there will even be another child, but if so, I guess we can give serious consideration to the boy name Jack liked. It's a nice normal name and not unheard of.

Looking to the New Year

I have had some time to think about this year and the new one quickly approaching. This past year had some great times, but it was also a hard year.

This year, we started out optimistic that we would get pregnant again when we did our second IVF cycle. As we all know, that didn't happen, and it was devastating at the time. We had new hope with the prospect of adoption, but trying to scrape together $20K by saving when you're already tight proved to be impossible. Fundraising wasn't easy, and while we probably would have kept trying to hold more, we really felt that saving money to have them, and then essentially gambling that money away hoping that a fundraiser would be successful was just not something we could afford to continue. That was really hard to deal with as well. My grandfather hasn't been well for a while now, and my grandmother on the other side of my family landed herself in a nursing home after a stroke. None of these have been easy things to deal with.

We have been lucky enough to be able to really enjoy our son this year. He makes everyday one that I look forward to, if for nothing more than his hugs and kisses, and to see what new phrase he'll have that day. Usually we have lots of laughs with him (unfortunately today was one of those days with a 3 year old where it was lots of frustration instead!!!). We've been able to go to his preschool parties for the different celebrations, go on field trips, see his class sing at church, and watch them put on their Christmas program. All of these things were very special moments for us, and we made a lot of great memories.

My cousin who lost her son last year, is pregnant with his little sister this year, and is due next year! Both she and the baby seem to be in great health, and we're so excited to meet the new little one. We also had a few friends who had new babies this year, and a friend who has had a hard time with losses is pregnant again, and thankfully everything seems to be going as it should at this point. We're hopeful that Eliana arrives in March healthy as can be, and that our friend who is pregnant again brings home a healthy child next year as well.

We are going on a cruise with my mom and sister in mid-January, and that may very well be our vacation of the year. Usually we go to the Outer Banks, NC in the summer, but with needing house repairs, and then money for either another IVF treatment or to put towards adoption, it is more likely that we will go camping in the summer or fall instead, unless some of our friends and their kids want to go in on a rental at the beach with us. Anyway, Jack is very excited about the "big cruise ship!!!" that we'll be going on, and we are all looking forward to making fun memories with him in the carribbean. After that none of us know what will happen.

I am a planner and I always feel like I need to have a plan. At the moment, the plan is to wait and see what our taxes look like, get our roof repaired, perhaps set some money aside for any other emergencies that may creep up (all of our appliances like our heat pump are as old as the house and we're on borrowed time!), and then see where that takes us. I will be doing my urine test for my urologist so we can discuss whether it would be safe for me to go off of my medication and try IVF again, and if so, I'll be making an appointment to see Dr. M. If not, we'll just keep living life as best we can, taking things as they come along.

My prayer for the new year is for my family and friends to be healthy, happy and loved. I could say that I pray for another child, but so does everyone else with IF. Sure, I want another child, but I also want to do what's best for my family as it is now. I want to not take my family for granted, and to make many fun memories for our son. I also pray for more of my sweet boy to show through than the devilish one that has taken over his little body for the last week or so!!! Ha, in all seriousness, I pray we figure out how to better manage the normal 3 year old moodiness.

God bless, and I wish you all a happy and safe new year!!!

December 8th, 3 years ago

This time 3 years ago, Archie and I went with some friends from the NICU where I work, to the Reproductive Services/OBGYN Holiday party hosted by one of the high-risk OB's at a local hotel. We had a great time, saw our fertility doctor (of course, I had to make a comment about thanks for getting me pregnant, now can you tell me how to get him out?), and did some dancing. As a matter of fact, one of my other coworkers was pregnant as well, about 35 weeks along, and we were both dancing to Cha-Cha Slide, Booty Call, etc., trying to throw ourselves into labor. We both were having contractions and for her sake at least, decided to sit our butts down for a bit. I don't recall our NICU team getting an invitation to the party the last two years, perhaps because we threatened to make them work when they were supposed to be having fun? This year they've invited us, but thankfully, I have a little boy's Christmas program to attend the night of the party this year. :)

I did not go into labor this night 3 years ago, but I most certainly was trying to bring it on. I'd spent the earlier part of that week walking around with my girlfriend's 11 pound baby on top of my belly in an attempt to push Jack out. I walked around with her there for 3 hours, around the mall, just hoping things would happen soon, picturing myself holding my own baby soon enough. No go. They really do come on their own time.

I'll have more posts in the next few days while I reflect back on this time 3 years ago.