Wrist Update and Good News!!!!

The doc removed my stitches on Monday. I have to say that I was really surprised at how neat my incision looks. It is a very thin one, not raised at all. I guess it was surprising because of the other scars I have from when I had a pin put in my leg (broke that when I was 14). One on my buttocks is huge and raised, and then I have one on my hip, and one above my knee where the screws were to hold the pin in place, and those are actually a little sunken, but wider looking incisions. It was just not what I expected.

I have a green hard cast until June 7th at which point I will go into a removable fracture brace and start physical therapy. They had a physical therapist come in and do a little mini eval at my appointment the other day and I am losing range of motion in my hand which I suppose is to be expected when you've had limited use for 9 weeks. I am under orders to lift nothing heavier than a coffee cup. That's proving to be difficult.

In other news, our insurance's fertility coverage is going to change effective July 1st. Our coverage right now is that you are allowed 4 IUI cycles with $100 copays, and up to 3 IVF cycles or a maximum cap (for IVF only) of $30,000. We have a seperate med cap of $10,500. Basically as it was, we had done two IVF/ICSI cycles which we had used just under $25,000 of our IVF cap and just over $3,000 of our med cap. We had never done any IUI's as our sperm motility and count were not sufficient, and would have been a waste of time and money.

As you know if you've read some of the previous posts, I questioned our fertility doctor about whether our semen analysis last time would have been good enough for IUI and the thought was that it would have possibly worked, so we were going to explore that once we paid off half of our credit cards. Well, upon reviewing our upcoming changes in our coverage, we've come to new conclusions.

With our new coverage, any reproductive medical procedures including IUI's, IVF, meds, etc will be covered under a $40,000 cap. We will still have a $1,000 copay per IVF cycle, or $100 per IUI. Where previously our office visits, labwork, and diagnostic radiology were included in our cap, they now will be billed seperately which is good. They will not be reclassifying things that have been done previously, so they will not be going back and changing how much we've used so far. So, as of July, we will have used $28,174 of our $40,000 cap. That means we have enough for another IVF!!!!!!!!!!

So, when will we do this? I'm not sure. I've been out of work for 10 weeks already, and probably by the time I go back, I will have been out 15-16 weeks. Our short term disability works like this-you use your own time (vacation, sick, personal time) for the first month that you are out. Then your short term disability kicks in. It's different for maternity than it is for an injury. So at this point I am getting paid 60% of my base pay (no differential) by the short term disability, and I am using 12 hours of my own time to supplement my paychecks. I had something like 260 vacation hours, 70 sick hours, and 20 personal leave hours saved before I broke my wrist. By the time I go back to work, I might have 60 hours left.

For maternity leave, you use your own time for the first month, then if you had a vagina delivery short term disability pays you 60% for two weeks, and if you had a c-section, they pay you 60% for four weeks. I have no reason at this point to believe I would need a c-section as Jack wasn't a c-section delivery. So if I calculate how many hours I need to take a full 12 week maternity leave based on a vaginal delivery, I would need 384 hours. It would take me a year to save up 182 hours. So if I wanted to be sure I had that much time saved up, I wouldn't attempt to do another cycle for year and a half. I could do what many women have to do and just take 8 weeks. That would mean I'd need 240 hours which I could conceivably have in another year. So I could do another cycle 3 months after I return to work! We will probably shoot for the end of the year if I had to guess.

I've been asked if we will still try for an IUI first. My answer to that is that I'm not sure. It would really depend on what our labwork and semen analysis showed. I only have one patent tube which makes me think that maybe it wouldn't be as good of a chance, and I don't want to waste what money we do have available through our insurance on a shot in the dark. I am also nervous and scared to try IVF again given how horribly I dealt with our last cycle being a huge flop. I tried so hard to not get emotionally invested, let my guard down when our fertilization report came back ok, and then got smacked with the bad news. I felt like I was insane afterwards. I guess if we do that I will have to psych myself up that it will work (we will be going back to our protocol we did on our first cycle that was successful!), and I will not let my guard down. I have alot of questions for my doctor before we make any decisions, and we would have to have some more routine pre-cycle testing done before we could make a decision between the IUI and IVF anyway. The office told us to call a month before we want to do another cycle, so maybe in September we will get started.

Confession Update

I talked to my hubby today when I got home, sort of, before I passed out from exhaustion, and the agreement we came to is that we will pay off half of the credit cards, and then reconsider our plan for testing for IUI. I can handle this. And, the best news...I am doing overtime tonight! The not so good news is that I am so tired, and it means that I am working 4 nights in a row, limiting time with my boys. I think I can, I think I can... :)

Confession

So I have to admit something. I am really irritated and just have to spill it. This blog is not private, I know that. I know that my family and friends read it. Sometimes I censor what I say for whatever reason, whether it be not to hurt someone, not to have all of our business hanging out there, or just because the thoughts in my head are not ones that I should, could, or need to share. Heck, sometimes I don't share because I know that certain people read it and I don't want to hear what they have to say. Ha! The joke is on me, because there are some people in everyone's life who will tell you things you don't want to hear. They are brave, and they know you well, and well, that person in my life is my mom. I love her, but sometimes I don't want to hear what she has to say. She knows it, believe me, it's nothing new.

We didn't just start talking about finances. My mother saw my blog post where I had mentioned we were going to try IUI if our RE was ok with it after testing, etc. I got an email from her with her unsolicited opinion (hi mom!, I know, you wouldn't be doing your job as a mom if you didn't tell me...I sort of appreciate that...SORT OF) about getting my house in order, finances in order, etc., and thinking that my husband would back me up and say, "why does she have to butt in?" showed him the email instead of keeping it to myself. This is where it all started. He said to me, "She's right." Damnit. Don't you think I know she is right? That is NOT the point. The point is, I want another baby, you want another baby, Jack wants a "baby sister", and according to Dr. M, my egg quality had greatly declined in the 3 years between our first IVF cycle and our last. I don't care if she is right!!!!!!!!!

I love my mother, she is one of my confidantes and best friends. I did not take her email the wrong way, I know she is trying to help and keep me out of trouble in more ways than one, but I am not dealing well with this. The plan to pay off our credit cards is great in theory, but I haven't gotten an agency shift in over a month, and haven't gotten overtime from work in over 3 weeks. I admit that it is a smart move. Our house is 23 years old and our heat pump is original, my husband's car isn't going to last much longer, etc. But, where is the money to pay off the stupid credit cards supposed to come from??!?!? I am frustrated, I am looking into doing phone triage for pediatricians from home, but still waiting for more info on that, and in the meantime, I continue to look for shifts to pick up. Archie talks about getting a second job, but doing what? And making what? Minimum wage? What's the point? He'd have to work so many hours to make it worth it, and then what happens to family time or time for him to sleep? I even picked up an application for Gymboree the other day, and let's be real, they pay minimum wage, and to be honest, they would be getting their money back because I would have to buy all the cute stuff for Jack. So really, no point.

What are the chances that an IUI would work? Who the hell knows, but I know that IVF was our best chance to get pregnant again. It isn't IVF. I also know that we could do 4 cycles and have every last one not work, and then we're in no better position than we are right this minute financially. We're also in no worse position. If it works, well, that would be great news, but financially it might be harder if I'm sick like I was with Jack because the overtime might be really hard to do. Or it could be easier if I'm getting IV fluids. Who knows. I just know that I'm not even 30 yet, my eggs are crap, and let's be honest, I want what I want and I'm not getting any younger, and neither are my eggs.

That is my confession. My nice little ICLW post made it sound like it's a great plan, I've got it all together, etc., but I'm not handling it quite as pretty as that. I'm not happy about it, I can't find a solution, and I'm driving myself (and in a few hours, my husband when he gets home from work) crazy. I need help!!!!

Happy February ICLW!

Hi to my fellow ICLWer's!!! For our back history, please see here.

Since then, a few things have changed. We found out that through the merger with the other fertility clinic, it would cost us about $5K out of pocket for another IVF cycle. We were hoping to have that back with taxes, but we had to repair our roof and pay off some debt, so no money left there.

Our SA was better when we did our last cycle (March 2009), and I began to question whether it would be possible to do an IUI cycle, given the MFI, and only one patent tube. We did get the ok from my urologist to go forward with trying to get pregnant again. We called the RE and asked if he'd be willing to consider an IUI, he would, but wants to get another SA, bloodwork, and another HSG on me before we make any firm decisions. I had started taking royal jelly, bee propolis, pollen, and honey, and had ordered FertilAid for Men for my husband to begin figuring it takes a couple of months for that to really work.

Then we began discussing finances again, and with not much in savings, if something went up with the house or car, we'd be in trouble. So, once again, our plan is on hold while we pay off our credit cards. My hope is that we'll be able to get the extra shifts we need to be able to get this done within a few months. In the meantime, I will continue to take my bee supplements, and Archie will start on his fertility stuff, and when we're close to paying off the credit cards, I will make our follow up appointment with our RE and hopefully at that point, things will fall into place perfectly...however, given our record, I'd say something else is bound to come up.

IUI possible?!?!

I heard back today from the IF nurse coordinator. She said that our fertility specialist will consider doing IUI if the numbers are right. Well, if it is in our control they will be. I started on Royal Jelly, Bee Pollen, Honey, and bee propolis tonight, and ordered Fertilaid for Men for Archie which he will start as soon as it arrives. The bee products are shown to be helpful with immune system support, egg quality (perfect since mine is ever declining), anti-inflammatory properties, and anti-viral properties. Fertilaid for Men has been shown to increase sperm count, morphology and motility. It's loaded with things that have been proven to help sperm like zinc, and other minerals.

The IF nurse told me that we would need to schedule a follow up with our RE, and get the regular bloodwork done (FSH, LH for both of us, estrogen, progesterone, etc for me), and that then we could schedule another semen analysis, and I would probably need another HSG since it's been about a year. The Fertilaid takes about 2-3 months for optimal results because sperm production takes about that long. So, my plan is to make the appointment after Archie has been on the Fertilaid for about a month. Hopefully the appointment we get will be about a few weeks after that. Then by the time he schedules his testing, he should be right around the 2 month mark of taking the supplements. We can go from there.

Hopefully things will look better for both of us, and our doctor will give us the go ahead to try IUI a few times. With any luck, we'll get pregnant.