Friday, March 11, 2011

Negative

That would be my result after putting back two beautiful looking blasts on day 6. It doesn't make me feel great about the ones we have frozen. My doc hasn't called me yet, but my nurse said he will later. She said we can start again after I get my period if we want to and have the funds available for our frozen transfer. I can't even get myself together enough to call the insurance company to see what we have left. All the meds are stopped and I should have AF in about 2-4 days supposedly. This is just freaking beautiful, but I realize that it wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. It's just not much of a consolation at this point. Oh well, Jack gets us to himself for a little longer. That's not a bad deal, at least we have that sweet, funny boy to love on.

4 comments:

  1. I am so very sorry for you and Arch- i know your hearts are broken. Please let me know whatever I can do to help you. It sounds so lame but I dont know what to do. I thank God everyday for our sweet Jack.
    Love
    Mom

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  2. So sorry to hear, and I know there's not much for me to say. Glad you'll be able to love on your little boy and get sweet hugs and kisses from him. Sending prayers for you!

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  3. Hey beautiful lady, I am so so sorry. Unfortunately I know just how you feel. The negative is such a devastating blow. You try so hard to not get your hopes up, but you also just HAVE TO BELIEVE that it will work. I know that it sounds trite and stupid, but I know that there must be a reason. Maybe the baby that God wants you to have is one of those other, successful frozen embryos. I'm praying that you have enough insurance money left to give those a try. Because this round was really so successful in every other way! (Except the most important part...) We're feeling close to resigned that Juliana will have to be an only child because at this point we are unwilling to do IVF again because of our last experience. It's sad, but it also makes her all the more precious, just as I know your darling Jack is. And if that's what God has planned for you, then that is the best way, although it's hard to see why. But, I also believe that God wants us to use the abilities that he has given us as humans as much as we can (which is why I am a believer in modern medicine), and so I know that He wants you to continue trying if you have the financial resources. He's given us the ability to help solve some infertility issues, and there may be some other reason for this failed cycle that you will never know. But when you have a success down the line, that baby will be YOUR baby and you will wonder how it could have ever been one of the other embryos. I know that I've just babbled on and on and probably not been helpful at all to you in this painful time, and probably not made any sense. But I just want you to know that I understand, and I care, and I'm praying for you. Much love!

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