Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Postponed...Again (edited)

I have no idea why. I also have no idea why the nurse would call my home phone, say she was going to call my cell and yet 20 minutes later I still haven't heard from her. I called her back like she asked me to, and it goes to voicemail. I have no idea why it's postponed or what's going on with these potential babies. She better call me back soon because my heart can't take this torment!!!

***edited to add***
I did finally talk to her. I have to say I'm a little disappointed that it didn't happen today. It's just hard to maintain the excitement when everyday they're calling you and you're not sure if they're calling to say that the embryos are doing well and transfer will be the next day now, or if they're calling to say the embryos fizzled out and your cycle is cancelled. It has been a hell of a roller coaster, and many are riding it with me, but I think my mom may be riding it the most with me. She calls me in anticipation, gets as upset/excited as I do and questions as much as I do.

She called me this morning on my way home wanting to know if I'd heard anything, and of course I hadn't because little did I know, the nurse had called my home phone and left a message there, but when my phone rang my heart jumped into my throat yet again, and I was half upset to see it was my mom calling (just because the darn phone rang and that couldn't be a good thing the morning you want to transfer), but half ecstatic that it wasn't the lab! It's just rough.

And I wasn't feeling this nurse. It's not my regular one, she's off today, and this nurse didn't give me numbers and to be honest, I just wanted to know what time I had to be there tomorrow and get off the phone with this bearer of bad news (in the fact that I was being postponed yet AGAIN). All I know at this point is that we have "a few" at the early blast stage, "quite a few at the morula stage", and one 9 cell. No word on quality (I think the blast ones might be hard to judge at this stage), or exact numbers. My transfer is tomorrow morning at 11:15, and this is the final time. I asked the nurse are they sure none will cease before tomorrow or stop growing, and she said that's never a guarantee, but that I definitely have enough that some will be transferred tomorrow. They better hope they're right!

My mom was upset with me for not knowing why they couldn't tell which ones would be best today if we already had some in early blast stage. My mind was reeling and I couldn't explain it, but here is why I think that. In my boredom last night, I found this site that talks about it. If you scroll down to where they talk about the grading system, beneath that they show you and you can see that they can't grade the early blastocysts. I know that it's important to put back the best ones and that this is why they need another day to be able to let them declare themselves, it's just hard to accept that I have to wait yet another day, and hope and pray that they'll be ok until transfer tomorrow.

And now we're back to putting my trust in the lab that does this all the time, and putting my trust in God that He will protect my itty bitty babies growing in a lab until tomorrow. I have to trust that He wants the best for us as well, and what he wants for us is what will be. Please pray for us tonight that our embryos continue to develop. Please pray for us tomorrow that transfer goes well. I likely will not update until after my transfer tomorrow as I AM NOT expecting a call in the morning unless something goes wrong. Therefore, I won't be able to tell you how they are doing, what they look like or anything until after my transfer. And I may be a bit delayed in that, because I will likely get little pictures of my embryos before they go back, and as I did when we did our first cycle, I scanned them at Kinkos and when we got pregnant I emailed them out that one of those embryos was our baby. This time I will post tomorrow that hopefully one of those embryos will become a healthy baby for us, sibling for Jack, neice/nephew for Aunt Holly, and grandchild for Grandmom, Mamala, and Papalo.


  1. I hope you get some answers soon and that you'll have a smooth transfer. Hugs

  2. Arrrrgh! That is frustrating! I've been thinking of you this morning. Well, if you go tomorrow, then imagine how blast-y and ready to implant those embrys will be! :)

  3. Hey there!! I'm just now catching up on the last week or so of your posts - and wanted to let you know that I'm praying praying praying!!!! I look forward to hearing how tomorrow goes, and will be praying then as well :)